The Master

[accidental voice post]

[the echoing sound of footsteps clacking for a few seconds, before ending abruptly. after a moment of confused silence, a disgruntled growl, and violent banging noises can be heard as he pounds a wall in frustration]

[...sort-of deliberate text]
/?~?~`````?~! yy y yyour stup pid bitthch of a ship pp//~@
!!111!/!?;;!::::@k;k:LK::
;///l///////a
canteathere no food nofood foood oOUTutside /?//////1`~ bodees letmeoutlettmeeou tLET
mE O
O uUT tt~?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1112

cant'tt' keep me e here no rihgt noriight not fair y ou sancyctimoonious g ffool

[[the Master is trapped in the Doctor's TARDIS for the time being. someone should send him a consolation fruit basket. except filled with raw meat.]]

[a few seconds of shallow, pained breathing]

This place...

It must be so beautiful from above. Glorious. But down here...

I don't know how much longer I can stand this.

[breathed with a strange mixture of sorrow and anger] Doctor. This is all your fucking fault.

Oh.

Oh dear.

There is absolutely no way I am going out in something like tha--

[sound of glass breaking, and a resigned sigh]

chimeras are always such a terrible idea

[a yelp, and several thuds and crashes before the communicator cuts out]

[smaller text is unintentional]

No. No, I won. This isn't fair.

Lucy?

[small pause, then a tiny clearing of the throat]

[tone is congenial, with a slight hint of bordering on intolerance, why do i feel like i'm forecasting weather here]

Greetings. I am Professor Saxon. I can only assume that whoever has deposited me in this hellhole... quaint little place is paying attention. It would no doubt please you to know that you have me at an extreme disadvantage- that is to say, you've got all the answers while I'm riddling out scraps of poetry and saddled with a sadistically primitive bit of communications technology. I gather that you are also responsible for the headache.

[softly menacing] You are making a mistake.

[aaaaand back to congenial] Rest assured, however, that this is nothing that can't be rectified by a little pooling of knowledge. I would like to know why and how I came to be here. I gather from the lack of intelligent life environmental conditions that you, in turn, could use a certain amount of qualified assistance. It is therefore of the utmost importance that we speak. I am sure that we can come to an equitable and mutually favorable agreement.

Let us help each other.